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nocturnal emotions

by crushinglove

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1.
i left the porch light on just in case, you show up late i left the door unlocked just turn the knob, i know you don't have the key you probably forgot it in the same place as your wedding ring oh when are you gonna make up your mind serve me the papers and leave me behind leave me behind cooked some dinner for you on the table, if you're still hungry you can eat it while you watch the tv the remote control, where is it you probably forgot it in the same place as your wedding ring
2.
i've been sleeping at 3 in the morning thinking of ways to make sense of life as i know it and wrestling with the future and what it means for everyone i love am i gonna see you fuck up over and over again so if you don't mind i will take flight i will leave you i will take my own journey i packed my bags emptied the closet left my keys at the table change the locks if you're able so you can be sure i won't come back i have more dignity than that i don't wanna see you fuck up over and over again i don't wanna be a witness to someone else's failed experiments i don't wanna be a witness to your failures i don't wanna see you fuck up over and over again
3.
blindfold 03:25
he shook me down like a chandelier he turned around so cavalier breezed past through me with so much fear freezing like glaciers melting through the years can't see his face, it's hidden from me i miss the confidence and your memory who'd wish for the same thing to begin when things start and end in so much sin read the last love letter you wrote to her my tears tore through it, glued it back together you don't have to worry, nothing is destroyed your love remains pure and true like a choice the slam of the door still stings like a bee you left the room faster than i can see cracked my life open then walked on shells just to stick me in my own private hells can't see your face it's hidden from me i miss your confidence and your memory i wish for the same thing to begin for us to start and end in so much sin i can start to believe in love again i can breathe life and imagine it i guess i can start to kiss the wind blindfold the past and run away from it
4.
fear the lonely fear the sadness creeps up on me creeps up on all of us unsee the picture draw another smile until you last a moment longer fear the lonely fear the sadness don't lie to me i see the worry in you you cast the curtain hide uncertain please reveal it i'll help you carry and then you will see fear the lonely fear the sadness it's a reaper just goes deeper fear the lonely fear the sadness just release it it will become you or do you want it because it embraces it envelopes you in its coldness you're left breathless fear the lonely fear the sadness creeps up on me creeps up on all of us unsee the picture draw another smile until you last a moment longer last a moment longer
5.
survive 03:27
when i met you you were making noises in the front yard fixing your motorcycle your eyes they focused on mine you help me out you try to save me you make love to me i give you some numbers to scare you out my life but are you gonna be something else i have to survive coz to tell you the truth i'm not up to it you kiss my mouth forehead to forehead hold my chin up wear my crown recite my speech when i won when i was on top of the world you help me out you try to save me you make love to me but are you gonna be something else i have to survive coz to tell you the truth i'm not up to it
6.
i'm the night you're a morning person i entered the wrong union now your hand is always closing i have to wait two hours for you to open would that mean my name is your name would that mean you'll always be the same there's nothing i want to take to the afterlife the other side has no use for blame there's nothing i need to carry with me when i die the other side has no use for this game would that mean my name is your name would that mean you'll always be the same
7.
crucifix 03:10
i see your footprints in the sand beside me i see them getting farther apart i sense you're just getting taller or maybe you're just flying but lately i'm feeling that you're just on my shoulders are you a crucifix am i your jesus you're my judas you're my doubting thomas always treated me like a fraud always made me seem like i'm lying to the whole universe i'm the one true thing in your life and lately i'm feeling that you're just on my shoulders are you a crucifix am i your jesus
8.
once you were a stranger now, i'm in danger of losing you of losing further once you were a stranger now, i'm in over my head to think i can survive it the art of losing is hard to master the art of saying goodbye is not for the weak of heart the art of losing is hard to master the art of saying goodbye is not for the weak of heart once you made love to me once you made me see the point of living the point of keeping on once you made me step down from the ledge and walk away from the edge of darkness, the edge of the end the art of losing is hard to master the art of saying goodbye is not for the weak of heart the art of losing is hard to master the art of saying goodbye is not for the weak of heart
9.
phoenix 03:19
She has made a decision She has made it her mission To protect her children To keep them far away from him So in the night of the big storm With her husband sleeping Collapsed from all the drinking She drove away with the young ones She has sandwiches ready Handed the kids their breakfast All of this without stopping To take one bite of her own Her eyes dryer than deserts Determined for destination Several states between them And the monster inside him She never felt those bruises They fell away like the dishes It's not picking the pieces It's rebuilding from ashes She's a phoenix that rises
10.
i went to the bank took up a loan buying a fridge a home of my own replacing a pipe painting my room walls into white flowers to bloom independence day now what can you say i am not the same i'm moving on with my life independence day now what can you say i am not the same i'm moving on with my life i went to the store a carton of milk sliced bread and eggs men stared at my legs and i wasn't scared that you would find out was openly flirting with some open mouths independence day now what can you say i am not the same i'm moving on with my life independence day now what can you say i am not the same i'm moving on with my life

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released May 16, 2015

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crushinglove Manila, Philippines

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