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Julia

by crushinglove

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1.
you're my assassin spying in my agency you're my lynchpin dynamite exploding another dreamless morning reeling from a nightmare it's another fever crawling from the inside you're my brush with death i tell the story to my friends you're my silent fall my brain's delusional you're the falling debris i'm a war torn country you're a soldier in the war while i wait from afar it's another dreamless morning reeling from a nightmare it's another fever crawling from the inside
2.
i can see it in your eyes so don't try to lie i can tell the truth and crime in your smile so let's just be real to what we feel to what we feel there's no reason to be the enemy the enemy this is a whisper to relief i can't breathe, i can't breathe i know that nothing is real until we can believe
3.
If Only 03:15
sit beside me crawl on the floor answer the knock on the door sorrow kicks in the mourning begins the light weakens and bends if only you were true if violets were blue if only you were true i would belong to you lie beside me bounce like a ball break my heart when i fall i want you to be deep within me wash like the waves in the sea if only you were true if violets were blue if pianos were guitars i would belong to you
4.
Effigy 03:40
i will cast you in gold and silver bronze and leather my only father remember your faults and errors my only father i'll sculpt your cruel grace your smoke screen blaze your molten face and as your effigy stands i'll take an axe and rip you apart i never forgot your sins you never cared to hide them forget your sins even now that you're dead and gone i'll never visit your grave once even as the world ends even as the world turns i'll never utter your name again to anyone who'll ever listen i'll sculpt your cruel grace your smoke screen blaze your molten face
5.
Ghost 02:20
you left the room like air escaping the window of a prison like a dream or a delusion and i woke up beside you your skin felt so rough against my resolution and doubt and my love trampled like roses the wounded petals in the street searching like a croon to the moon of last year and i stood like a specter like a ghost in the stairs running from everything i have ever known to be good
6.
look on down from heaven even the terror in your eyes never fails to get to me sunlight interrupts the sky the conversation we were having once we were drowning now we're coasting by sailing, flying high sailing, flying high sailing, flying high look on down from heaven even the horror you feel never fails to get to me sunlight stops for a while let's hurry and bask in the sight you embrace me so suddenly never felt a body this close to mine once we were drowning now we're coasting by sailing, flying high
7.
DownBoy 03:06
i counted the days of solitude and isolation from the whole nation i can't keep it together, i'm restless and alone and you're on the phone thinking i'd be breathing down the last available sound your hand around my neck the lies you keep on check this delirium is a symptom of something worse something like a loss consequence and cause i must carry the cross and let you fly away let you die away wither and falter on your own i won't let you drag me down drag me around down boy
8.
Ana's Lament 02:32
waiting for a husband for almost a decade raising three daughters with the money he is sending pretending to live like a satisfied housewife stuck in my own wheel a cage to burn until breathing in and out gets harder as the air thins out getting crazier by the second feeding on lies and doubt i'm betting on a sadness betting on another life one that he's living with a another wife this time of day, he's on video telling me a story i already know pretending to live like a satisfied housewife stuck in my own wheel a cage to burn until it all crashes down collapses in this town
9.
Worker Bees 02:58
these people they don't know how deep i am in the shithole i'm troubled in a puddle i've created all my own it seems to me it's only themselves they see it seems to me they're too involved with the city these worker bees it seems to me they just want to be the best they can be too frightened to help me they don't know how to ask me but can't they see it's obvious that all i need is a little push it seems to me it's only themselves they see it seems to me they're too involved with the city these worker bees it seems to me they just want to be the best they can be
10.
you were weighed but found wanting you were never enough you were never that tough i always knew i was the one for you your eyes seen by the unseeing god you were weighed but found wanting

credits

released November 22, 2014

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crushinglove Manila, Philippines

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